Juss, chanting cheerfully in the car, "I want to be weird! I want to be weird!" John, sounding pained, "You don't have far to go."   Me: "I picked your father because he can crush people with his brain." Juss: "Daddy, crush me!" Me: "I meant crush people intellectually." Juss: "Oh. So, he doesn't have super…

Or actually on the way to the pool.   Justinian: "Faster than a speeding baby! More powerful than an unruly toddler! Able to step over a sleeping infant without waking it! It's Super Mom! Dedicated to taking care of her children. Super Mom, or Mommy, is secretly writer Jagi Lamplighter. Able to switch back and…

Conversation with the Princess: Princess: “Today the boys bodder me.” Me: “They bothered you again?” Princess: “They bodder me EVERY DAY! One say ‘Marry to me’ and he say , ‘Isn’t Ping-Ping beautiful.’ He say it VERY LOUD. First period, twelve people in the class. Everyone look at me.” The poor beautiful princess is beleagured…

Juss:  "Oh ho! You said, 'H. E. Double Hockey  Sticks.' Juss's friend:  "Nu-uh. I said H. E. and one hockey stick and then I stopped myself."  

Orville: "We've heard this song dozens of times. Can we hear a new song?" Me: "What would you like to hear?" Orville: "The Pumpkin Pirates." (He meant the Airship Pirates song by the group Abney Park.  By "Pumpkin" he meant "Steampunk." )  

It's hard to be a mommy away from home. I went away a weekend ago to visit a friend for the evening. John called: John: "What do I feed the kids?" Me: "Chicken nuggets. Put them on a plate. Put them in the microwave for four minutes." Very easy. Can't be messed up. About half…

So, we were taking a walk by a lovely creek. My son, who just learned that running water is thought to stop many supernatural baddies, looked over at the river and asked if it was "rushing" enough. Me: "Yes. It's running pretty quickly. It could protect you from a vampire or a ghost." Juss, with…

Set up. Juss wanted to know if he could play World of Warcraft. He thought it was rated for an audience of 17 or above. I commented that maybe by the time Orville was 17, when Juss was 13, Juss would be ready. Juss, the math wiz, immediately announced in astonishment, "You mean Orville is…

Mom: "Are those the warriers John Carter sent you for Christmas?" Juss: "Yes,but none of them look like Martian warriers.: Mom: "Maybe they are Martian Warhammer warriers." Juss: "That makes no sense.  Maybe they were sent by a person who was just pretending to be John Carter." He pauses. "But how would he have known…

John: "I hate to be more of a burden to you, Dear but…" Juss (age 9), from up the stairs. "Mom's not a (something I can't hear, sounds like Burden)  She's married." John. "Burden. I said BURden." Juss. "OOOOoooo. I thought you said virgin."