With My Own Dice!

My son Juss is writing a parody of Al Yankavitch's With My Own Eyes. It is still a work in progress and may end up as two separate songs.

With My Own Dice!

I saw a toad drive a cart!
I saw a half-dwarf-half pig!
I talked to a rat heart-to-heart,
I saw a dragon dance a jig.

I saw a gnome stand defiant
And send an orc to heck
I saw a halfling fight a giant 
And make his grappling check!

I saw a guy with a squid head
I saw a table beat our fighter!
I saw a cleric turn undead.
I saw a wizard brawl a spider!

I saw the DM roll the five twenties that turned me into to a rat.
I could have gone my whole life without seeing that!

With my own dice, I’ve lost saving throw that would have kept me from going insane.
I let a mind-flayer take over my brain 
With my own dice!

With my own dice, I’ve failed spot checks with a difficulty of two.
What am I supposed to do?
With my own dice!

The original: